IT WAS...

 May 19 2012. Cailin graduated from USF (Bachelor of Science: Organizational Behavior & Leadership). We reveled in how brightly she was. Her future is full of hope and promise. The ceremony marks this for Cai and her classmates.  After, our family and friends continued to make this the best of days. In Redwood City with a feast from Kathy and Bob, hosted by Ann and John, a lot of people came around to be around. 

With John Flynn bringing by Sequoia,a bald eagle that he has taken care of for over 20 years (Sequoia only trusts John) provided a genuine surprise appearance.  Cailin's graduation! Big Bob's birthday! Giants win! Then, in a makeshift baseball-like game that accepted all comers from the age of six (Marley) to a neighbor of 84 walking her dog, we played from mid afternoon to the evening hours, when darkness finally brought the game to a close.  In that time, fifteen of us may have been playing/viewing/lounging but only one 84 year old decided to trash talk (playfully) me; "you're the big talker. I want to see you hit". 

Ben, in his alter ego of librarian stepped up and back to his Little League days and crushed some pitches, as did Jeremiah. Of course the biggest hit, even amongst these sluggers and the Great Eagle was of course, Cailin. Congratulations!

Gravel and Silk

                                              

                                                                       

                                            that's Bobbie in the middle and in the video,center


The craggy gravel voiced Levon Helm and the smooth, almost spoken style of Bobbie Smith may seem far apart but I've always loved their voices.  Wherever I am I will stop, loiter and listen when a song plays with their vocals.  Both were in service to the material,  not over singing or with showy vocal calisthenics. While Levon's voice is jarring at first listen, its distinctive qualities stand out as warm, full and southern.  In a group that produced as much an American sound as any rock band, Levon was the lone American with his Canadian band mates that made up the Band.  Their love of the blues, rockabilly and southern soul showcased with three excellent vocalists; Helm, Rick Danko and Richard Manuel made a lasting and influential mark in music history.

I also enjoyed his records, guest vocals on Los Lobos records, the material from the reformed Band minus Robbie Robertson and Richard Manuel.  Helm was also a fine mandolin player and a drummer who pushed the rhythm without any solos or set drum pieces.  I would be happy to write about the great vocals and songs of Richard Manuel and the bouncy Rick Danko (who wrote my favorite song about coffee; Java Blues -the only pick me up that's here to stay). Or how Garth Hudson couldn't join the band unless it was sold to his parents as he being hired as their music teacher!  It was a mix of distinct voices harmonizing, contrasting and crashing together that made the Band unique.  After recovering from cancer (unfortunately not a full recovery) and some financial woes, Helm was able to enjoy the last five years with many musicians eager for his company and to honor his contributions.

Levon Helm and Bobbie Smith of the Spinners were always overshadowed by a larger presence in their groups - and for the most part, they seemed happy enough to give up the spotlight.  In the last years of the Band, the members found themselves in the shadow of Robbie Robertson, the primary songwriter who was focused on his next career as an actor and soundtrack scorer for Martin Scorcese, the director of the Last Waltz, the concert film of the Band's last concert.  This was evident in the film where Scorcese frames Robertson as not one of five, but the one the other four surround.  Helm wrote that he didn't like the way the Band played in that concert but there's nothing lacking in his performance that i can see. It might be that drug abuse has effected Richard Manuel moving his performance to the background- perhaps Helm felt that by presenting his friend Manuel in this lasting image, the film did more harm than good.  And maybe that says much more about Levon Helm.

Bobbie Smith is cool!. His vocals make it easy to not notice how effortlessly he guides a song to where it needs to go- communicating feeling while rocking the rhythm.  He delivers an understated performance but always soulful and genuine.  Most people will recognize the Spinners song, Ill Be Around and that vocal is Bobbie's.  He too existed in the shadow of an overwhelming prescence; usually a gospel slinging lead singer , Phillipe Wynne or later, John Edwards.  Often, Smith would set the tempo and then move aside for Wynne or Edwards to drive the crowd crazy.

The clip is grainy, the setting is overdone (an awards show) but it shows Bobbie in his smooth graceful splendor.  Smith movements are so perfect and fluid.  In his time, you sang and performed the choreography.  The Spinners are still out there touring but only Bobbie Smith and Henry Fambrough are still in the group.

The Spinners were another group that had three excellent vocalists, part of the Philadelphia sound, although the members were from Detroit spending some unsuccessful years on the Motown label.  It wasn't until they moved to the Atlantic label and their association with producer Thom Bell did they find their voice.
Some of their outfits (it was the 70's after all) were loud but their stage moves were always fun.
Maria and I once saw the group in the late '80's and after the show saw the members leaving Kimball's East in Emeryville out through the parking lot.  I was shocked to see that my fave, Bobbie was smoking a cigarette but we followed (stalked the Spinners!) in our car as they walked across the street to their hotel.

Levon Helm died last month.
Bobbie Smith won't live forever.
Their sounds will always be with me, and their recordings will still satisfy many as long as there are recordings and memories.

This piece is dedicated to the young man who asked me once what i was playing, for it was music his father used to play when he was a child.  On that day, sitting in the cafe, it made him happy to hear Dizzy Gillespie.  Whenever I listen to Levon or Bobbie, I'm feeling fine.







Below are two YouTube links

 the spinners
levon helm/theband

Nemesis: The Hom Hom Homers

Ah, the joys of baseball; it's long season draws out every emotion but in April, everyone is hopeful. Baseball can bring out joy and agony and if you are a teenaged kid playing, it may bring out fear.
I always liked playing the game and was good at it especially tracking down fly balls but something about our first organized games versus other teams made me very nervous. 

My older friend Anthony had organized our crew at 30th Avenue ("Winslow's Giants) to face, in a series of games, George Hom's Hom Hom Homers.  Great name really but scary team.  For the life of me I can not remember any of their players except one- and because I am most likely not going to ever meet him again, I will refer to George's brother as Behometh. The Behometh was a very large boy- definitely older and looked like Jose Canseco in all his glory.  He hit the ball as you might expect a Behometh to hit a ball. The Behometh would crush a pitch every time and my eight teammates would all turn and watch the flight of the baseball as it traveled to Saturn. Probably a little glad that none of us had to get in front of the leather missile.

In later games Winslow's Giants would compensate by pulling in Coach Aveson's friends (John's older brothers and their circle) but these first games I remember batting and hoping to get walked.  Fortunately being on the tiny side, I had a small strike zone and didn't swing the bat very often.  Also our batting helmet (fits all but me) seemed to ride on my head like Darth Vader's mask.

During this series my proudest moment occurred when playing the outfield,  the Behometh ripped a line drive which I didn't let get by me- it crashed into my chest and bounced back to where I could toss it back in.  I suspect that what actually happened is that he hit the ball so hard I didn't have time to get out of the way.  Caught between deciding to dodge left or right, I did neither.  Bruised and sore I ran back to our dugout area after the third out,  and Coach made a point of celebrating my effort and courage.  If being too stupid to get out of the way = courage and effort, well then I was happy to contribute.   The why and the how no longer matters- only the perception of the was that is, and how it still makes me feel today (and a malleable memory). 

We won our series with the Hom Hom Homers with a loaded (unfair) lineup. Today with nostalgic affection I sometimes think about George's team and how I'd still like to kick their butts- but I'd get out of the way this time.

Fantasy Baseball

Dexter has wanted to play a Fantasy Baseball League since last year. His cousin, Jeremiah was nice enough to start a 4 team league with his Bro and Sis (Tom and Stacey) -two of Dexter's cousins. It's an ESPN driven league and free to play. With only 4 teams of 20? players and a pool of 750 to pull from, there will always be many good players to pick and choose from.  I told Dexter I would help- do a little research and assist with the draft.

I had completely forgotten on draft night, involved in  a project at work when Dexter called at 6:45 reminding that the draft was at 7:30! Are you going to be home?  Crikey!  I had not yet done any research! Immediately dropping what I was doing, I managed to find a taxi and get home in 15 minutes. Cramming all the notes that I could (began in the taxi) we were ready for the draft. By the (un) luck of the draw we had the last (well,fourth) pick but also because of this would have the very next-5th pick. Our draft selections were always in two's and throughout Dexter continually reminded me to have two-three ready choices. 

The draft was fun - when it was your turn, you had about a minute to choose, then the process moved fairly quick.  We weren't sure if we should draft position players by position or by quality, how many pitchers to acquire- so we decided to target some players, not draft any Dodgers (made easier when Kershaw and Kemp were picked up early) and just go for it.  In the end we came up with a pretty solid team (again, with only 4 teams it would be harder not to) but probably had one too many relievers.

We are the World Chemps (nickname Big O Franchise); Chemps for Chew-Dempsey and Big O is for Oliver- originally we were "Oliver's Head" but he didn't care for that one.  Going against team names that will also strike fear and intimidate: The Crazy Crabs (homage to the Giant mascot of the early '80's designed for fans to intentionally dislike), Nicely Done (to lull into underestimating) and Tommy Tommy Long Hair.

I didn't pay much attention to the proceedings the first three-four games but when I realized that some strategy is involved, it became much more interesting.  Also I wanted to know how exactly were we leading. You only get credit for players selected to play so you have to play hunches as to who might have a good day, who is on a roll, which pitcher might get a win or a bunch of strikeouts, slotting players to fill in your regulars- on days off, trading players, dropping and adding players.  Dexter and I - are hooked!

I explained to Dext that the season is long so he should expect a lot of up and downs- you can clear 100 points in two days so you might move from first to last in just that amount of time, and reverse direction even faster.  However, we're still on a pretty good roll..  Here's who we have now (with one change- we acquired  Napoli-c and dropped Avila.  Earlier this week, Tommy Tommy Long Hair traded us Strasberg-Pitcher for Cesedes,Outfielder of the A's (which may work well for both teams).  You definitely "bench" players that aren't playing that day but sometimes a team plays but your player does not -drats!  Or you think you have a great player but he doesn't hit! Or field!  Tulowitski! However you figure it's worth keeping him until he comes around. An older player like Michael Young will get a rest every few games so it takes some guessing as to which game that might be. I don't know!  A pitcher like Yu Darvish is on a team that will score a lot of runs (Texas) so even if you're needing convincing about how good Yu is, you determine that he still will get a bunch of wins. I should stop here as to not give out any of our team secrets... if only we had any.  We've been lucky so far and Josh Hamilton has been the main mover of our team.  He, was a steal!

the scores for the pitchers reflect how their teams did on this day- not their individual games.
we also have a home rule not to root against the Giants under any circumstances.

C	Yadier Molina, StL C			Cin	L 3-6		--/--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		100.0	+0
1B	Prince Fielder, Det 1B			Tex	L 3-10		1/3	2	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0		0	4		100.0	+0
2B	Dustin Pedroia, Bos 2B						--/--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		100.0	+0
3B	Michael Young, Tex 1B, 3B, DH			@Det	W 10-3		3/5	1	3	0	0	0	2	1	0	1	0		0	8		100.0	+0
SS	Derek Jeter, NYY SS			Min	W 7-6		1/5	1	1	0	0	0	1	0	0	0	0		0	3		100.0	+0
OF	Jose Bautista, Tor 3B, OF			TB	L 4-9		0/3	1	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	0		0	3		100.0	+0
OF	Josh Hamilton, Tex OF			@Det	W 10-3		1/4	1	1	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	0		0	4		100.0	+0
OF	Josh Willingham, Min OF, DH			@NYY	L 6-7		1/5	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0		0	1		100.0	+0
UTIL	Hunter Pence, Phi OF			@SD	W 2-0		1/3	1	1	0	0	0	0	1	0	0	0		0	3		100.0	+0
				Totals			8/28	7	8	0	0	0	3	7	0	1	0		0	26
Bench	Pablo Sandoval, SF 3B						--/--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		100.0	+0
Bench	Troy Tulowitzki, Col SS						--/--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		100.0	+0
Bench	Alex Avila, Det C			Tex	L 3-10		0/2	0	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0	0		0	2		100.0	+0
Bench	Adrian Beltre, Tex 3B			@Det	W 10-3		1/6	1	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0		0	2		100.0	+0
DL							--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		--	--
DL							--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		--	--		--	--

PITCHERS				Apr 19			Apr 19 Pitching							Total		RESEARCH
SLOT	PLAYER, TEAM POS	ACTION		OPP	STATUS ET		IP	K	CG	SO	W	L	SV	PTS		%OWN	+/-
SP	Jered Weaver, LAA SP			Oak	L 2-4		--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		100.0	+0
SP	Ricky Romero, Tor SP			TB	L 4-9		--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		100.0	+0
SP	Yu Darvish, Tex SP			@Det	W 10-3		6.1	5	0	0	1	0	0	15		100.0	+0
SP	Stephen Strasburg, Wsh SP			Hou	L 4-11		--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		100.0	+0
SP	Colby Lewis, Tex SP			@Det	W 10-3		--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		100.0	+0
RP	Craig Kimbrel, Atl RP			@Ari	W 10-2		--	--	--	--	--	--	--	--		100.0	+0
				Totals			6.1	5	0	0	1	0	0	15
Bench	Madison Bumgarner, SF SP

Didn't consider what a rain out does !  We had 4 major players not play today because of it!  At one point on 4/20 Jay, Stacey and Tommy were all in a row, each separated by one point. Wild stuff.

Postscript: 10/5/12 we ran the table from day 1 to the end of the season. Yeah, I'd call it luck!
6555
6392 
5999 
5391

CHG
		R	1B	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	HBP	SB	CS	E		K	CG	SO	W	L	SV
1	World Chemps BigOFranchise		798	957	534	48	1004	812	569	84	80	-29	-75		993	65	25	720	-230	200		6555	+9
2	The Crazy Crabs		788	899	602	75	860	753	580	41	113	-35	-82		1018	65	40	750	-265	190		6392	+33
3	Tommy Tommy Long Hair		717	790	516	81	944	755	531	38	107	-41	-72		968	20	10	690	-220	165		5999	+21
4	Nicely Done		687	810	514	99	744	718	531	41	109	-44	-78		850	15	10	610	-230	5		5391	+19

 we ended the season with six Giants: Pence, Baumgarner (both all year), Panda, Pagan, Scutaro, Vogelsong

Mr. D

The loss hurts so much because the memories are so full and good. He is the father of my friend John, who died eleven years ago. Mr. D left us on John's birthday March 31. I can't think of many people I know of by just an initial- PE teacher Mr.A  because not many could pronounce his name. Basketball legend Dr. J, the singer Mr. B comes to mind but none with the affection of the recollection of Mr.D.  Growing up  my peers and I always sized up the parents of our friends; what were their boundaries, did they have a bad temper, did they tolerate and  like us?

 

He always enjoyed engaging us in conversation with his interest and ready laughter. He liked once when I noted his flair when stirring a glass of chocolate milk, tapping out a nice rhythmic finish. As a father now I do this. There were three father figures I looked to growing up in my neighborhood on 30th Avenue. They were my father, Mr.Grant and Mr. Dickinson. When theDickinsons moved out to Vegas in '78, I was not sure how much I would see of them.  I knew that John and I would always be friends and would find ways to stay in contact.  John was not one who we might consider to write letters (but he did, and often lengthy) and I wasn't someone who gave much of himself (but I would learn to).

I flew out to Vegas several times and was welcomed at the Dickinson household each time. Once John and I participated in a nutty thing where we jumped over an airplane propeller set beneath a protective steel floor.  Using the  proper technique would allow you to fly up pushed in an airstream created by the propeller. Thirty years later I visualize us wrapped in padded jackets surrounded by the massive sounds of the experience and the two of us flying, crashing and laughing. 

Retreating back to the house on Viking Road to a mightily stirred chocolate milk, dinner and television with Mr. and Mrs. D., John, Dennis and Lucky.  Stories shared of then and since then. Circumstances in time created a bond with this family and me- and while the frequency of visits were not numerous, they became meaningful and important.  The lines of friendship and family became blurred, as the relationships became a part of something that needed to be.  

Last week Maria referred to Mr. D as the type of person you do not witness often; someone who accepts what life presents, no matter how difficult that task might be. By his actions,he seemed to say to us that this was his burden and he would accept it. Mr Dickinson did so with not only strength but with grace.  The grace of God perhaps but I saw it through him.  When moments of humor presented, he accepted those too. At his niece’s Monica’s wedding, he danced and danced, and did so living in the fineness of that day.

As a man devoted to his family, Mr. D set a template for others to learn from.  He did what he needed to do.  If the task was to face a wooly mammoth, he would face that mammoth.  In my adult life I have been content to do what I want without worrying what most people think about me- as long as it answers to my own standards of conduct.  However Mr. D was an exception- I wanted his approval.  

Knowing that he believed in me will continue to be meaningful in my life. It goes without saying that he will be missed but what I need to acknowledge is that his existence is part of who I am, and who I would like to be.

Had The Talk

Every once in awhile I feel like a Dad. I always know that I am a Dad but at heart what I feel like is a goofy kid. There are some days I do feel like a Dad- a good Dad. I'm proud of myself today. Whenever I look at Dexter and Oliver, I am proud but at the very same time wondering how in the world did I contribute to these great guys? Perhaps this is how Tim Tebow feels when he throws a pass 50 yards and someone catches it and runs in for a touchdown...

Last night I was determined to finally have the father-son discussion that I may have been avoiding the past six months. But really, I've been busy. Really, really busy.

Just the same, I have never experienced being on either end of this discussion. Remembering an older friend (who could actually cook spam!) who taunted me about my parents doing the deed- which I denied at age 16, and didn't believe until 18...I certainly owed this to Dexter.
Especially since I couldn't convince Maria to have the father to son discussion.

So where to have it? Somewhere where we wouldn't be crowded- somewhere open. Considered the Pier 39 Aquarium or the zoo- but Dext doesn't like to see animals kept in small places. Considered cafes but the thought of our discussion transferring to anyone's ears and to Dexter's discomfort wouldn't work but a place that might work would be- my workplace. A big space quiet and empty on a Sunday. Conference rooms or comfortable sitting places. Perfect.

I worked out an outline. The physics of it all. Why people do it; for love, for fun, to explore. The discomfort of the teenage years. Protection. Your friends will talk. Peer pressure. Being a gentleman. Listening. Not being afraid of being turned down by someone. Awkward moments. Privacy. Our part in this as support. We're there if he seeks us or not. 30 minutes in one of the Mothers Rooms. After laughter and some stumbling, it felt easy and good. I, we did good. My son. And I am his father.


although this picture from later in the afternoon leads me to believe that maybe I didn't communicate the concepts clearly. Son, you don't go in head first.

Fare You Well

This past week Cailin finished up her tour of duty at our shared place of work. This last round has lasted nearly 15 months, with an earlier go of 10 months previously. It's been a nice situation getting to know my niece as an adult and to witness her flourish in social settings of her own. My own time would have been a lonely stay without her- especially after my gang of friends dispersed from our SF office. To a new company called Ticketfly she goes, with great promise and hope. Her first job in which tomorrow is not just another day. Thank you and all my best wishes as you follow your path.

Sincerely,
Uncle Brian