What A Week

It's been a busy week- kind of odd that my respite was Jaws, watching a shark chomp on people but you gotta take fun where fun is.
Dexter started middle school on Monday- a big change. I noticed that this is where children start withdrawing from public shows of affection; half hugs, a light tap on the back. I am somewhat relieved that it's not me who is pulling away (still a fear) but also saddened that culturally this is where we are. I suppose I can hope only for a head nod as best scenario for high school. Perhaps I can work on the parental cool fist bump.

Dext still reaches for my hand when we walk down the street but I sense that this will be changing, but a memory. Sometimes with Dexter's younger brother, Oliver, he and I perform a routine at the dinner table. I stick a cracker on my forehead and he eats it. I think it would be a nice ritual for us whenever he comes back to visit at spring break, or with a new girl or (and here I'm going to be politically cool)/boyfriend. However, I usually forget to do this when we have guests anyway although it really is funny especially when I say that this is the only way we can get him to eat.

It was a tough week for Dexter especially; the stress of a new big school, bordering on the teenage years and his best friend at his elementary school not with him. He is not alone for Dext has many friends but feels lonely I believe*. He would wake up everyday feeling ill and definitely stressed. We listened but he had to go; he had to face up to his fears. We found out that he needed to share one bad experience, and it took a day or so for this to come out. Also as a full on vegetarian, he needs to eat wiser and more consistently. We're working on this.

What do I do anyway if somebody beats him up? I'll be upset certainly- do I go into the school, find the guilty punk and tell him in my best Eastwood stare (one squinty throbbing eye, sometimes elevating to a two eye burn), "Stay away from my son. He's too good for scum like you. And by the way, how big are your parents?". Obviously I probably will not take that approach. I am a grown up and will seek solutions rather than risk getting my whole family beat up just because I throttled some surly eighth grader. I may instead find out when the delinquent's last class lets out and then egg him before he sees me. Let's reconsider. Dexter is a smart boy. He is resourceful and clever. I will just have to trust that he will find his way out from harm's way. But just in case, I'm going to stock up on some eggs.

Wow. Maria has already began her job as director of the preschool (a logical transition) back in July but the actual school year with all the children did not start until this past Monday.
Until she finds her rhythm/ comfort zone, much of her energy and time will be devoted to the school. We know that and accept it. This is a reversal of when I was the one working at the "career job" and financially keeping us going.** I need to remind myself that as a caretaker of others (the co-op, children, staff, parents) just as when I was a store manager of Peet's (the business, my staff, customers), it requires so much. Especially with Dexter, I missed some parts of his growing up, working Saturdays late into the next morning- and hours spent at home preparing business related items. At the end of a work day I remember being so tired, as Maria finds herself now.

By the time Oliver was born, I was more honest in what I needed to do and duties I was doing because I wanted the control of it. But giving up the family just for something that only benefits work was really my shortsighted error. This is something Maria is not doing- I write this not only because there's a possibility that she might read this but to acknowledge that Maria is not trading one for the other but adding more to an already full plate. She will be a great director if she does not get a heart attack. (don't worry, I'll feed the cats).

*kind of cool when your kids use your phrasing. When Dext explains things he often ends his discussion with "I believe"

**for those of you keeping score we have both had two rounds of "career jobs" and in both, Maria has drawn the bigger salary. I'm more than happy to declare this. I'd write more but I have to go buy something on Amazon now.