Nice Aint Nothin'

just saw Tift Merritt at the Great American Music Hall. I'm liking the song "mixtape"



reading a book about the Smothers Brothers -comedy, free speech, censorship in television and a document of '67-'69

YouTube: American Time Capsule. Today we might have "dick in a box" but this short film aired twice, on the Smothers Brothers, prime time. Both are entertaining.

Dear Dexter and Oliver,

Someday you guys will read this- maybe with a beer in hand and a photo of me and your mother nearby. Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps already having the web address you might start leaving cryptic responses the nights when I tell you that you can't take the car out.

Sometimes you guys are so full of words and one day I'll miss that nonstop chatter but instead settle for a nod and a friendly "hey". I know that even with headphones on or avoiding eye contact, that you will hear me so I'll keep talking. Letting you know.

I need to tell you this- you'll learn it many times in your lives but consider it good parental advice. You will meet many people who seem to be the nicest people in the world and it could be that they are. However if you choose to bring them close, let their actions ultimately speak for who they are. So you've heard that actions are louder than words- I am not discounting the power or value of words; this is where ideas begin but the saying is true. Sometimes the nicest people in the world aren't, and sometimes the surliest are actually alright folks- if what they do is honest, and straight forward. Their manner might be gruff but their actions,not. Ask yourselves with those around you, can you trust them? Nice is not enough.

Let me tell you that your mother is honest and straight forward, and mostly! very nice. She has my life and I have hers. When I was your age, Dex, I trusted my friend John 100%- I knew who he was and where he stood- and he was surly! But of course he was more than that. You trust people who stand by their actions, and if they make mistakes, they own up to these mistakes, and not try to cover them up. There is right and wrong but this is often confused with what you can get away with.

If your cousin was promised work at a reputable place with reputable people, and she did all that she was asked to, to earn that job- but the day before she was to start, the offer was taken away, that would be wrong. If the reasons for doing so were clothed in an untruth and the person who was responsible for this did not have the courage (let's say -the balls) to stand up and say they did this, then they are liars. Around this, some participants are behaving mighty kind and nice but fact is, someone made the call and someone fabricated the reason and because of this, someone's actions are shameful, and bad. Cowards will show up in your lives in many forms; unrecognizable at first. Learn to recognize, decipher. Someone might be able to wrap a rotten chicken in a nice package but underneath is still a rotten chicken.

I know my work emails have been compromised under the "you need a new computer/i need your password" premise (coincidentally when I would have 5 days off away from my computer) but this is how I feel. Nice ain't nothin', good is better. This doesn't mean that in our lives we always come through with things promised, hoped for, communicated but it does mean that we do when it counts and that we are accountable when we screw up. Again, not just words such
"I'm sorry" but our actions- what are we going to do about it?

I would like to believe that my actions have pretty much been sound, louder than my words (which is a good thing because half the time no one can understand what I'm saying anyway).
I know you guys will figure it out when you find yourselves in these situations. Truth is it isn't always easy to know what to do, and who to trust. I do encourage you each to have a clear sense of right and wrong; and that begins with knowing not to take advantage of someone just because you can get away with it.

Love,
Dad