Assembly Bill 376

What now, Politicians!? First your stupid happy meal ban.

Now, a bill by the politicians in California to ban shark fin soup. Whaaat?
Speaking for my peeps as I've never been asked to speak for my peeps, what else are we gonna have at banquets? This is clearly a bill to starve all Chinese people in California by the great great grandfathers of the makers of the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1882.

Sharks are migratory creatures- so what if this bill would protect sharks that live much of the time in US waters but would be killed in the Gulf of Mexico- who cares? Do you really want to swim in the ocean with sharks? Stop shark fin soup and we'll be forced to import dolphin fin soup from Japan, which is way too gelatinous.

A reputable food magazine rated the top 4 foods of all time:
1. ice cream 2. shark fin soup 3. Gerber apple and peaches
4. delicate food sprinkles that fall off the top of William Shatner's head

Top of the food chain? Remove sharks and we mess with the eco-system? Last time I checked- Humans are the top of the food chain. How many World Series have sharks won? For that matter, how many Stanley Cups have the Sharks won? Here's the answer; none.
We're number one. Besides, where's the discussion from sharks talking about banning munching on people? Is there any dialogue about that? Haven't heard it.

Yes, January Jones is a cool shark advocate but if chameleons can grow back a tail, and we can grow back a kidney or a liver or something, who is to say that a shark can't grow back a fin? I mean, have you checked? Or are you just believing the media? Right, Lady Antebellum really is the best band of the year.

Shark fin soup as status and a show of wealth? Every time I've been presented with shark fin soup at a banquet- I didn't pay for it. Every time I've had sizzling rice soup, i've paid for it. So let's ban sizzling rice soup first; the sizzle and the fizzle is not environmental. Reputable scientists suggest that sizzling rice soup contributes to global warming- there is no documentation that shark fin soup contributes to global warming.

Bill 376 would set off a slippery slope- what's next? Tiger Penis?