Big Two Make Twenty

I'd like to think that getting older will not mean becoming set in my ways; inflexible, rigid, conservative. I would like to find ways of being a connector; a pathway for a community. I was able to provide this when I managed the cafe and while I don't miss the drama, i do miss this- and am seeking a way to connect, again. There are thankfully, role models.

I now understand that when we get older we close ranks, seeking to provide for our family- our world becomes smaller. When we are younger, curious about other places, traveling and believing that our community is large, including the poor and less fortunate. A family transforms the individual by giving meaning and purpose; working, even on a bad day gives a reason to keep on. It's not that they care less for the homeless guy down the street or children without water in Africa but their primary concern was to take care of their family first. For some, taxation and government programs undercut this ability to take of their families and contrary to their younger selves, they have become conservative. It's a type of understandable selfishness.

I am inspired by John, Maria's father who in these later years has come into communities of families to work with those in need of shelter and food. He has become an active advocate for the less fortunate, adapting his world view to believe that the poor are constantly manipulated to benefit the privileged and power brokers. At dinner conversations he often brings up The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. It is a book that illustrates the practice by the United States where our government has taken advantage of a political or environmental disaster to manipulate countries and communities to benefit our form of capitalism. John's advocacy extends to city hall meetings, and in the direct collection and distribution of food and blankets. In my eighties, I hope to be as connected to the world, not drowned in my drama.

Any good neighborhood with nearby stores will have a hardware store and a corner grocery store. Any good neighborhood where neighbors know their neighbors will have someone who stops by to say hello, to offer assistance for those that are aching, or limited in their mobility, who will make the cats of the neighborhood fat and someone who is well versed in the TMZ of the community than the politics of the globe. Ann, Maria's mom is that person. Also, to their big extended family, Ann and John provide shelter for all comers. When we visit, it always feels like home to me. Maria and I are both fortunate to still be able to spend frequent time in the places we grew up in. Whether I am the rooms of 30th Avenue or Ruby Street, I joyfully plop down somewhere, anywhere, grab a newspaper and float. I might clean a dish now and then, but the feeling is the same as sitting in a nice warm bath tub.

They have been big supporters of my pursuits. Dexter and Oliver continually benefit from having Ann and John as grandparents. Happily our sets of parents got on very well- our mothers would send each other cards and notes. My role models leave me a very clear path to follow.


(PS: dear family members, please do not forward this edition!)