Good Daddy v.So-So Daddy

Dexter had a bunch of friends over last night. 8 boys, 2 girls. Children gravitate to where they want to go and as anti-gun as Maria and both are, Dexter has about 10 Nerf guns (friends, uncles and uncles). If you ask him what the highlight of the evening was, he likely will say it was this crazed Nerf battle down the stairs leading into a free for all in the lobby. Sorry, neighbors!As a parent, you will have good days and so-so days (hopefully not worse than that). If you're a good parent you probably aren't aware of the good days but very aware of the so-so (or worse) days. I'm aware of both so I'm not sure where this places me. I'll write more about good daddy, of course. Last night I took Dext to the Great American Music Hall to see several bands- 4 hours of music and card playing. During the second set of music, I was Dexter's bed, pulling up another chair for his legs and being the best pillow-daddy that I can be. Before Jenny (Lewis) and Johnny (Jonathan Rice) took the stage, Dext woke up to finish another round of Milles Bornes. Our table was joined by two very nice men named Omar and Christian who invited us to share their food as they also accepted our invitation to partake of this most excellent of card games.
When the music began again, Dexter needed a boost up even though we were on the balcony to see the stage. Also, it was a way for him to have something that we used to share; up until he was five or six I would often dance him to sleep as we listened to music together. Now, whether because of age, size or it not being cool for an 11 year old to do this, it doesn't happen.

Sometimes when I'm dancing with his younger brother Oliver, I glance at Dexter who seems alternately indifferent and a little sad. So under the pretext of seeing Jenny and Johnny we could share this again ( agh! my back) . Held high in my arms, myself sweating profusely, we bounced and swayed for nearly the entire set.
I am proud to share this relationship with him and in many ways, Dexter may be the best friend that I will ever have. Time will embellish the relationship, possibly alter it in ways we can't predict but I know what is here now, and where we've been. Of course, I also share incredible individual bonds with Oliver and Maria. Some of how Oliver views me at this age is through his older brother. Maria, as with any adult relationship there is a give and take- that is, this feeling of what have you done for me lately? Dexter is completely in my corner and until I betray his trust (greatest fear), everything I do is accepted, justified, forgiven. It is a huge responsibility but I am grateful just the same.

Dexter is a big jerk who farts too much.
This isn't true but he was looking over my shoulder. Might need to change my blog address.
By the way, Jenny and Johnny's performance, blending of voices, sonics and songs, stories of fellow passengers on the bus ride to the Mission District, tribute to friend Farmer Dave made for an impressive close.

Bad Daddy (so-so=). This morning, this afternoon. Preparing for Dexter's sleepover (7 total kids staying over, 9 until mid-evening) and prodding the boys to actually clean for their event, my patience was thin. I was grumpy today. Getting Dext to be proactive in selecting some party favors/decorations at the party store was a long time waiting for him to have some idea of what he wanted. I was grumpy today. Maybe it was the dust from cleaning. Maybe it was just an afternoon of being a so-so daddy. Better nights, better days ahead. Rest is important, I know.

Hours late into the evening. A good night. Dragging his friends into watching a Futurama movie (as his father had his friends watch Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein recently), optional art projects and Nerf battles later, it is bedtime. I'm typing as he sits with 3 friends; 2 of them, girls who can rough house with any boy. One, saved Dexter a sore neck when she freed Dexter from a neck hold with a crushing block. They are now talking about school, friends, swearing, television while three others sleep. He can talk he, and laugh they do. Minutes later: a fart, and hysterics. Didn't think that would be my exit line.