Walking The Brain

A cold hard day for both Maria and I, relieved to be in proximity of each other and the boys, we walk downtown. I relax in a demo message chair at Macy's - sure beats the atmosphere at Walgreen's. Settled into the specific chair the security guard insisted I try (it's much better than the other two) , heated rotating spheres work my back and the soles of my feet as Oliver rolls a portable device onto my leg, my mind drifts. It goes to Dexter telling me that this year he's going to get me an expensive Christmas gift and Maria will make me the macaroni necklace. It goes back to wondering if the security guard will want his chair back.

I rambled awhile ago about a crummy deal dealt to my niece and since then, people that could, at my workplace took on the situation and only for doing the right thing (when they too could have looked the other way). It nows seems to be resolving in the right way. For this I am grateful and proud of these folks for their efforts. Gretchen and Dennis, thank you.

I know that when I was younger, I always had crazy ideas of how I was going to live it up, places to travel, reckless modes of behavior (all fine as long as no one gets hurt) sometimes involving running fast. Now I seem to sometimes consider ways of how I might depart. I suppose as your folks and siblings get older, that reality creeps in. Having survived various bad accidents that had a lucky turn (still standing) including big electricity, getting hit by a postal truck, wrong place and wrong time scenarios, the mind builds to something grand and dramatic- but no cancer please; that's never any fun. Old age- that idea I can live with but i'd hate to not be able to run or walk (starting to move slower) and do want to be around definitely. Reality is that it can't be too grand when I've had trouble chewing rice or something similar (although we determined this was when I was managing a cafe and during those rare times when I was preparing to fire someone). Nearly passing out on the streets of Mill Valley while choking on an Indian Burrito is not the way I wanted to go, and fortunately didn't.

Now that the Giants have won a World Series, I just have a couple of things that I want (besides the big picture of years with the family of course!) and that is a jukebox that plays 45 rpm records and seeing a Great White Shark in its element. I'd be more than happy not to be in the water but in a boat, thank you. Now is the time to go whale/shark watching but it's a grueling boat ride to the Farallones. Tried a few times with minimal success (some dolphins, sunfish, whales, more glare bouncing off the water) and one weekend I attempted to book was full- but that tour provided the riders with a rare view of an orca capturing and killing a smaller great white. The boat we went out on the following week was a 15 hour ride with about 15 seconds of seeing 2 dolphins, an almost dead sunfish, and a whale or two. Maybe 14 hours of sea sickness.

Do I pass each subsequent winters opportunity to travel to distant Farallones to save money? To subdue fears of further illness on the sea? Fear of the water? Odd fantasies of being devoured by a great white shark (hey, it's the infection that is as bad as the bite- which is really usually, the big guys way of exploring) keep me rational by staying on land. Seriously, the chances - even in the ocean are much greater that you will be struck by lightning, hit by a car, get a bad jellyfish encounter than even seeing such a fish. People swim in the bay all the time, and these great beauties swim by them constantly= zero great white attacks in SF Bay. Hey, dolphins are back in our bay- it's been over 60 years.

I like to believe I have a point for most of my entries. I have to admit sometimes I do not.
Been eating a lot of ice cream lately.

The Politcal Turkey

Went to a 49'ers game yesterday. Only the fourth Niner game I've been to - thanks to Tina, GC and Gian. Gian worked many years for the Columbus Salame Company, who in appreciation always extend him six prime tickets every year. They have been kind enough to offer to take us to a game each of the last three years. Despite the pit that it is, I have many fond memories of Candlestick Park and during the day, it's not so bad. Oh, Tampa Bay won 21-0. I enjoyed the experience; no tension.

Politics is a strange bird. On one race I'm upset at the dirty campaign directed at a good person and candidate for supervisor in Dist.2 (not my district) who we supported and did a bit of work for. Although I disagreed more than agreed with her on the city's propositions, Reily made it clear where she stood on every issue. My experience with her -in how she deals with a demanding public is she is accessible, considerate and listens before making a calm, informed decision.

Janet has to this point (she may have to reconsider) not run any negative campaigns, which to say the least, is a rare way to run a campaign but the big business, PG&E- supported candidate (sorry, those are bad associations in my book) ran a huge late anti-Janet Reily campaign with financing by some of the richest jerks in the bay area- a true smear job. They piled on the untruths in a mass media spread which coming in the last week of the campaign gave Reily no real opportunity to respond.
How we vote in SF is a ranked choice system where the accumulation of your first, second and third place votes can have place you as the winner, even if you do not have the most first place votes. Although Janet did have more first place votes, people that voted for her might also have chosen her primary opponent second. However because of the lies of her opponent, those that voted for him would not also have voted for Janet as their second or third choice. They bought into the vote No on Janet Reily push (not voting in any form for her- a type of Vote No on Yes). It stinks. That's politics.
What can still be: The President and The Governor

I do find it funny that Meg Whitman spent $145,000,000 of her own money but ends up losing to Jerry Brown primarily because she wouldn't shell out 5 grand in due pay for her housekeeper. That has to have some big picture meaning! I wish I was good with percentages but would that be something in the ballpark of spending $300,000 for a condo but losing it because you wouldn't pay the cleaning guy his $10 fee. That's politics.

San Francisco will have a new mayor in less than six weeks!
Hey, Gav's stood up for some cool issues (or at least had the sense to let Mark Leno do the hard work and take credit for it) but lately his ambition, hair and cool speak (his street talkin' is especially annoying) reminds very much of the Mayor in the Wire. Can someone ask David Simon if that guy is based on Newsom? Hoping that the Lieutenant Governor leads to Governor Prime, then President Big Time, Newsom is making a point of not being part of the "kooks of San Francisco". Just leave, dude.

Nice Aint Nothin'

just saw Tift Merritt at the Great American Music Hall. I'm liking the song "mixtape"



reading a book about the Smothers Brothers -comedy, free speech, censorship in television and a document of '67-'69

YouTube: American Time Capsule. Today we might have "dick in a box" but this short film aired twice, on the Smothers Brothers, prime time. Both are entertaining.

Dear Dexter and Oliver,

Someday you guys will read this- maybe with a beer in hand and a photo of me and your mother nearby. Maybe, maybe not. Perhaps already having the web address you might start leaving cryptic responses the nights when I tell you that you can't take the car out.

Sometimes you guys are so full of words and one day I'll miss that nonstop chatter but instead settle for a nod and a friendly "hey". I know that even with headphones on or avoiding eye contact, that you will hear me so I'll keep talking. Letting you know.

I need to tell you this- you'll learn it many times in your lives but consider it good parental advice. You will meet many people who seem to be the nicest people in the world and it could be that they are. However if you choose to bring them close, let their actions ultimately speak for who they are. So you've heard that actions are louder than words- I am not discounting the power or value of words; this is where ideas begin but the saying is true. Sometimes the nicest people in the world aren't, and sometimes the surliest are actually alright folks- if what they do is honest, and straight forward. Their manner might be gruff but their actions,not. Ask yourselves with those around you, can you trust them? Nice is not enough.

Let me tell you that your mother is honest and straight forward, and mostly! very nice. She has my life and I have hers. When I was your age, Dex, I trusted my friend John 100%- I knew who he was and where he stood- and he was surly! But of course he was more than that. You trust people who stand by their actions, and if they make mistakes, they own up to these mistakes, and not try to cover them up. There is right and wrong but this is often confused with what you can get away with.

If your cousin was promised work at a reputable place with reputable people, and she did all that she was asked to, to earn that job- but the day before she was to start, the offer was taken away, that would be wrong. If the reasons for doing so were clothed in an untruth and the person who was responsible for this did not have the courage (let's say -the balls) to stand up and say they did this, then they are liars. Around this, some participants are behaving mighty kind and nice but fact is, someone made the call and someone fabricated the reason and because of this, someone's actions are shameful, and bad. Cowards will show up in your lives in many forms; unrecognizable at first. Learn to recognize, decipher. Someone might be able to wrap a rotten chicken in a nice package but underneath is still a rotten chicken.

I know my work emails have been compromised under the "you need a new computer/i need your password" premise (coincidentally when I would have 5 days off away from my computer) but this is how I feel. Nice ain't nothin', good is better. This doesn't mean that in our lives we always come through with things promised, hoped for, communicated but it does mean that we do when it counts and that we are accountable when we screw up. Again, not just words such
"I'm sorry" but our actions- what are we going to do about it?

I would like to believe that my actions have pretty much been sound, louder than my words (which is a good thing because half the time no one can understand what I'm saying anyway).
I know you guys will figure it out when you find yourselves in these situations. Truth is it isn't always easy to know what to do, and who to trust. I do encourage you each to have a clear sense of right and wrong; and that begins with knowing not to take advantage of someone just because you can get away with it.

Love,
Dad

Apparently

Pacific Grove is a nice place; kind of the in between of Monterey and Carmel, although it's nice to visit either of those places as well. We've taken to spending a night or two, once a month somewhere nearby just to get away, and to take the boys swimming in 60-65 degree weather. They never seem to mind.


The monarch butterflies are not in full migration as of yet and we didn't see any big bucks running through town this time. Alright, that only happened once when Maria and I heard an increasingly louder clippy cloppy sound- then looked down the street to see a big horned deer running in full panic- crazed tea party eyes. Guess who also went all in with the full panic reaction? If you guessed Maria, then you are a friend of mine.

Speaking of friends, I was visited by one (yes, I have several) recently who came to town to participate in the Giants parade; having moved 22 years ago but always a Giants fan in Las Vegas, where his family settled. Dennis, the storyteller. Apparently when he was 10 years old, he recalls events that our neighbor, Robby and I would involve him in. Robby and I are about six years older, and as you will soon discover, perhaps six times funnier. Dennis sometimes exaggerates his telling of events as if there was some terror involved.


As Dennis tells it Robby and I would "lock" Dennis in a clothes hamper that was in the basement of my parents garage, where each floor above it had a small door that you could open to drop laundry down. I really do not recall locking Dennis in the box- (however we do include the view one might have from inside looking up) and dropping dirty laundry on him. It is not likely the laundry was actually dirty and it is more probable to have been food items or something of noticeable texture.

Dennis also speaks of running through the backyard while people threw arrows near him. Again, the idea of Dennis running serpentine avoiding pre-Nerf arrows is mildly amusing for some of us. I do remember that Robby had amazing aim.

I will at least testify that the fourth member of our group, Rob's brother, John had nothing to do with these alleged acts. He was probably out riding the bus somewhere.

There are a few other stories that Dennis likes to tell that can not possibly be true and I need not list here. The first time Dennis chose to speak of (can't some people let go of the past?...oh, I guess i wouldn't have much of a blog if I did that. well, can't Dennis let go of the past?) this performance play was when I was visiting his brother John in Vegas. Dennis decided this was a good time for his father, Mr.D, to hear of these things and pass judgment. Certainly there was some concern on my part as Mr. D will always be Mr.D to me. Considering the quickest path back to the airport, I was relieved when Mr. Dickinson broke the silence with hearty laughter. Whew, I was relieved that Dennis would not get into trouble for telling such stories.

All in all, he's has turned out to be an outstanding citizen of his own with his terrific merry crew of Bonnie, Daniel and Courtney. It was a nice visit from the 702, back in the 415.
Also, thanks for waiting while I stood in line 3 hours to get an autograph for Dexter from Cody Ross, NLCS MVP.

Grabbing a couple of cassettes for our drive down to Pacific Grove (hey, the bakery with all the little cookies is long gone-shoot!) I am reminded of another story. Once while Maria and I were in the middle of a tense dispute, I apparently decided to blast a song by the Mavericks, coincidentally titled "All You Ever Do Is Bring Me Down". Defending myself to the accusations of "I hear that!" with- "I wanted to hear a real good Flaco Jimenez accordian fill- several times" didn't buy me much goodwill then. By the way, Flaco does play real nicely in that piece.

Floating Over The Clouds

I am still in a giddy foggy place and despite the stupidest work week ever, I continually remind myself that my joy is not going to be taken away, subdued, or diminished. In these days following the SF Giants first World Series Win, I'm trying to find what it means beyond the hype. We are lingering in a shared feeling of elevated elation before time washes away this community spirit and will soon return us to our divided ways. It's something like Halloween when you can ring a strangers' doorbell and not only do they open it but they smile and give your kids candy. Do this a day later they will call the police. Hey, the door is still open and the candy is still sweet.

A sports victory is a reward for a long haul. In particular for baseball because its season is so long- 200 games (regular season, post season, preseason) with enough ups and downs that at its conclusion, exhausted, you are ready to let it go- only to begin again next year. There is a saying that April is the hardest month and for different reasons, i have found this to be true but because of baseball, April is always also a hopeful month of renewal.

We can get behind political campaigns and feel the promise of possibilities and change. In its best form, political campaigns involve many people (on both sides) as a unifying force but one that will always disappoint and frustrate. Its high point is a victory where in recognition, time does stop for one night (was there ever a better day for many of us when Obama won?) but the victory is only the acceptance of the audition. What will follow is a. the real hard work b. the realization of how heavy the chains are, how bitter the rhetoric, how murky the path to progress. Ah, but the short goals of sports are obtainable and irrefutable; once the gates have been reached, the path as linear as a board game, is complete. Clarity is present and there is no denying the winner. What is won is a connection, or a path to connect with people that on a normal day ignore each other. (after the immediate "Yarrrsgh!"s). A shared experience.

It is difficult enough to agree on what to eat for dinner, or where we are all going on a Friday night let alone finding some commonality with people around us. I remember sitting in a night class just days after getting married and wanting everyone to feel the happiness I was feeling; Put down your pencils- it's time for a celabratory musical number! Even if I was able to communicate this change to my classmates, chances are they would have passed on a musical number or anything more than a tidy, "that's nice". When a community grabs hold of their sports team, it opens up the possibility of a potential musical number (impromptu, sloppy, unrehearsed, stupid from the outside but feels good from the inside) that provides a link to something larger, than just your experience. It requires an investment of faith, and often a great leap of faith to believe.

When a team wins for the first time after many years of waiting (for San Francisco, its been since the arrival of the Giants from New York in 1958) the significance carries more resonance, for there will be many willing participants, that cross age, cultural, class lines. In my circle, this remora ride is for me, the joy it brings to my family- all those great Dempsey loyal Giant fans, my 90 year old Dad, to finally not have to hear my brother moan every year about Willie McCovey's game ending line drive in '62 - bury that memory brother!. It is for my friend John, who left in 2001 but in winning, the Giants help me think about him and how he would sincerely enjoy this (just this week, his brother and my friend Dennis gave me John's Giants jacket that his family had wanted to give him for his 40th birthday), for a neighborhood that grew to a million people, if only for a few short glorious weeks in October and November 2010.

The Giants won 103 games this year. In 1993 they won 103 games and did not even get into the playoffs. In '87 they led 3 games to 2 in the NLCS, one game away from getting to the World Series but lost the last 2 games to the Cardinals. In '89, earthquake interruptus, and the A's won 4-0. In 2002, the powerful Giants seemed to be on their way to the first World Series win; up 3-2 in games, 5-0 in the seventh inning of game six. We were headed to our friend Tina's house. I had a special bottle of Dr. Pepper that I was saving. But it was not to be. The series turned ugly for Giant fans. Maybe four years ago, at dinner, Tina told us that she had saved that bottle in her refrigerator, while fending off Gian Carlo, her son, our buddy, who has been wanting to drink it, since '02. Eight years later, after celebrating with my father, my first thoughts were -we got to go to Tina's house asap! They were waiting for us, bottle in a champagne bucket, glasses set around. Delicious!

Years from now, Dext and Big O, will you remember Huff Daddy? Cody Ross?
the Freak? Ooh Ooh Ree Bay? Brian Wilson? Torture? Ashkon/SfGiants? Panda and Posey? Javey Lopez? Fear the Beard? Our Big 4 starting pitchers? (Lincecum, Cain, Bumgarner, Sanchez) The Excellent broadcasting team (Jon Miller, Mike Krukow, Duane Kuiper, David Flemming)? The stories of Edgar Renteria, and Andres Torres? Freddie Sanchez, Bochy and Rags, Pat the Bat? I hope you will.

To Cleveland and Chicago (Cubs) fans, may your day happen soon.