Vanity, Behind Me

Dexter is about to hit the acne filled, angst full teenage years. I'd like to wish him the best of luck in slogging through these muddy waters. I hope that he trusts himself and his parents to get through. Part of the difficulty is not only the changes the body undergoes but it is the first time that one battles the ID and ego. It's a type of self awareness on-the-job training before we learn to harness it and find balance and peace.

I was self conscious with every manner- at times could not speak, or walk down the street. Was I taking little steps, awkward steps, feet and knees in or out, equal strides, lifting my legs, sliding? And what to do with my hands and arms- clenched, loose, stiff, swinging? Too much thinking. Better to study the great walks of Denzel and Clint now, then spin off your own distinction.

In time- and let's remember we're looking back at nearly 30 years ago, my acne and thoughts cleared. I no longer considered, nor wanted a different nose. Mine was my own. Mean kids could laugh at it and it wouldn't bother me any longer.

Boys, you get through this. You should get through it. Sometimes there are still moments that draw people back to these self centered concerns; perhaps hearing their voice. Here's the thing: folks really are not looking at you that much and the only ones that are, love you for your tweaks; individual qualities. Today I'm really completely at peace with my exposed forehead, slightly bulging tummy ("muscle"), mumbles, fear of acting like a fool (I may act as a goofball but have no fear of being perceived as one). You grow up- you get over pointless vain concerns.

Now having said this, I recently took some photos in the work photo booth (soon to run out of paper- no one knows this- with no back up supply available for the paper is only from a factory in Japan, destroyed in the Tsunami) with Cailin and Allison. The last capture I thought I would turn my back to the camera. WTF?!! Maria occasionally has said that I'm thinning a bit on the back of my head "heh heh". But WTF is this?!! The lunar landing on my head? A hairy man's buttocks on my head? Grand slam breakfast on my head?? Who just said, "Cantelope Head?" Not funny. Excuse me if I make serious eye contact until backing away three blocks and wear baseball caps to weddings. And Maria, what's with the casualness? Why haven't you rushed to me with hair spray paint? Where's the hair plug flyers? The past is all behind me- yeah, well not if I can see it!


notes: *impressed that I use the popular "WTF" *after choosing the medium sized image, I downgraded to small size. *Meghan, my earlier entry that seemingly was giving you props for your hard work in establishing Lotus Salon was apparently a subconscious cry for help; get that wig work going-quick!

The Rad Grads

Congratulations to the grads: Joshua, Mickey and Jackie. Josh and Jackie will be heading up north to the Seattle area to begin the next chapter of their lives together and Mickey will be going to college. We remember when they were tiny and silly kids. Still silly- maybe sillier but no longer tiny children. We wish them well and are very proud of them. Also, congratulations to Bobby and his new teaching gig in Redwood City. Life keeps rollin' along and these guys got their wheels on. One day Dexter and Oliver? Whew!

Big O and Lou Seal

This will be a night when Oliver wasn't feeling well and was surprised by an old friend who lifted his spirits. Never mind the cold, the lifeless performance put on by the home team, or the construction of things- just the sweetness of the moment, and the brightness of the boy.



















































please remember to support your local marine mammal center

About New York

We could live here! It would be endlessly entertaining, if a bit expensive. However just read that NYC, while the most expensive American city is only the 44th most expensive city to live in (Tokyo might be the first). If this is accurate (source not recalled), then I can think of 43 cities I may not want to visit.

You can take a subway almost anywhere, get out and walk to places of discovery and interest. Densely populated and active, there always seems to be people walking around at all times of the day and night so in our experience, there is a feeling of safety in numbers. It is an exciting place to be. New York -also New Orleans appreciates its past while our beloved San Francisco, as was pointed out to us- tends to hide its history. Many of our younger residents may not think of SF as a union town and a working class city. San Francisco has moved into the present embracing technology while New Orleans has stubbornly resisted-not the healthiest of economic attitudes. New York has a keen mix of past and present.

We went to a Mets game at new Citi Field, next to where Shea Stadium used to be. We were provided the best seats, as I told Dexter, he will ever have- at least in association with me. Jeremiah once got us Giants tickets behind the on deck circle at PacBell Park but the Mets seats were comfy, plush seats. Plus this comped evening included a private room down the aisle with free food!

One day 25 years ago you're scooping ice cream side by side with someone and the next day you're still scooping- but Coco is getting you seats right behind the on deck circle. Five or six rows behind a fence and two all star bat boys, Jimmy and Victor who tossed our guys two baseballs during the game. With the power of the four seamed souvenir, these guys were rock stars and they knew it- but never neglected little kids. The Mets have this absolutely right. More baseballs could have been had, had Dext and Oliver been greedy.

The new field is splendid; more enclosed than Pac Bell Park- castle like but a fine place to watch a baseball game. Upon entering, the ushers seem to be old Mets fans. One told me that my oldest will soon be cutting school to go to ballgames as he did (or as he said, "we did- do you remember hopping the fence at Shea?") when he was a teenager. It felt nice to be included. My response was half honest hedge and half fake Queens borough accent.
About 17 years ago, Coco and Rex moved to Baltimore for less than a year, then settled in Brooklyn. For their honeymoon they traveled to as many minor league baseball games as they could fit into their trip. They are deceptive in their understatement, specific in their direction, and fascinating in their reveal- if you have the fortune to be their friends.

Last year, I mentioned that Rex has a great radio show that airs on Saturdays WFMU "Fools Paradise"- which is also extensively archived. Everything that he plays is from his gargantuan 45 record collection. It features a lot of music, occasional interviews, fun soundbites and homages to forgotten character actors and mostly, the unsung or forgotten heroes of rock and roll. His weekday job is as a producer at a New York radio station. Without knowing it, you've heard his voice.

I first met Coco when we both worked at Double Rainbow ice cream We both started as scoopers-but she became a manager first of the Haight Street store. I seem to recall that I got my gig at Polk Street when someone died and I happened to be standing next to the store keys. It was clear then that Coco was a good leader- who didn't place herself before her staff . The Haight Street crew always stood out with their wild crazy ways and the person fostering this fun atmosphere and making the workplace a good one was Coco. No one else you would want batting for you. They took us to Prospect Park and the Living Museum (how we refer to their place) in Brooklyn, as well as the Great Jones restaurant (with a fine jukebox of tunes not of this decade, certainly). We also met and became very fond of Cricket and Brisket.

Along the way I picked up a Flying Squirrels Cap (Double A Giants affiliate), Oliver got another ball from one of the guys who watch every MLB game everyday in the Fan/Man Cave. We also received a tour of the radio studio Rex works at. Rex set up a radio show for me and the boys, which ended up being called, "The Corn Dog show". I especially like the intro and out music and the commercial Rex set up for us, with one of the voices of NPR. I sound like a poor man's Michael Feldman doing his poor man's Groucho Marx. The inside workings of the new studio was impressive with its maze like paths and studio rooms. Of note, Rex has a particularly engaging "Hmmph" face, and good subtle reactions. It's possible that Ernie Kovacs was his father.

We took was a tour of the Tenement Museum in the East Village. Going through an old apartment building that has been historically preserved/restored, we follow the life of the Moore family as they lived here in 1869. One of the purposes of the museum is to provide an understanding of the migrant and immigrant experience in America. The story of the Moores, an Irish family can easily be connected today to a family from Mexico, Iraq, Cambodia etc.
It was brutally hot early in the week- and lesson learned, the kids, as great and willing as they are, do much better in below 80 degrees. Fortunate were our later days of 77 and a breeze. A walk across the Brooklyn Bridge- Dexter was spooked by the heights or maybe it was the crazy guy standing on the edge taking photographs. The ice cream at the Brooklyn Ice Creamery was really creamy and delicious , if limited in flavor choices. After the bridge trek, sitting on green grass, with a view and cone in hand we achieved our zen like bliss.

Walking in Brooklyn, a man jumped up from his sitting spot apologizing to the person he was speaking with on the phone to address us. "Richmond Flying Squirrels!" He had just moved from Richmond to New York and was excited to connect with anything back home. At least we could tell him where he could get another cap and as we walked away he called out, "we won the World Series!" Walking into bakeries in Carroll Gardens in Brooklyn brought back memories when we stayed at Niddy and Glen's while they were on their honeymoon 21 years ago- Caputo's bakery -still family owned, was established in 1905. On another day walking through Chinatown and the Essex Street markets we came upon an old candy store- Economy where blissful nostalgia ran amok. I bought a lot of candy. For myself. Our last evening we had a satisfying dinner at Bubbys on Hudson Street book ended with games of catch and tag in Tribeca.

In mid-week, we came upon a place opening in Greenwich Village (7thAveSouth/Charles) called the Imperial Woodpecker- SnoBalls!. Neesa, the proprietor was born and raised in New Orleans and our anticipation for a creamy sweet snoball was put on hold, as she waited for the okay from the health department. We returned on Saturday and made this our last stop. Recommended.

Anticipating warm weather, unfamiliar territory for the boys, we resisted planning too much. We knew that riding the subway would open other possibilities. Our first trip in a long time where we didn't see music; I had scoped out a show with Miguel Zenon but didn't make it and made only one stop other than the Record Mart to a record store, and got a nice Spiders (I Didn't Want To Do it) disc.

We chose our vacation before the always hot weeks of summer but also before the free concerts in the parks; fond memories of Abdullah Ibrahim & Ekaya at Bryant Park, Abbey Lincoln at the Twin Towers, Illinois Jacquet's Big Band outside of Lincoln Center with Jacquet in a torrid argument with someone not in the band. Our first visit we stumbled upon a giant all-star Central Park freebie that I can not remember who/what the celebration was for- Fela? And once saw Joe Papp's Shakespeare's in the Park -King Lear with Andre
Braugher (Homicide). Point being, a lot of great free offerings. All the same, I don't feel as if I missed any sights or events but I miss the days, the friends, and the pulse of this city.

Man, it was tough to go. Gotham, we got to get back.

I Want A Slice Of That!

Congratulations to our friend Molly who with her friend Mary won this year's Pie or Die contest at the Ferry Building, placing first in the Judges list and also achieving Honorable Mention in the Peoples Choice.! They presented a Lemon Shaker Pie. The event sold out so we were not able to vote and eat so much pie. They needed to make 20 pies for the event and use an ingredient purchased at the farmers market. Molly specializes in a supreme crust and overall, good taste. We are very happy for her. We are happy for us to be so close to a DPS (Delicious Pie Source). Presently it is difficult finding words because all I can think of is pies, particularly a Lemon Shaker Pie with violet sugar sprinkles....Congratulations to someone who works hard at perfecting a craft, and therein receives some just desserts...

Molly on the right

photo of pies: Angela Rosoff

Subway Record Mart

While hoping to find the time to get to the Record Mart in the Times Square subway station, we stumbled upon it on our way to the Mets game. We haven't been in New York in 14 years and it's probably been 15 years since I last visited. I've since discovered that the Record Mart closed down in 1999 because of Guiliani's plans to beautify New york. The Record Mart may not have been much to look at but it always had soul. The story was finally able to reopen eight! years later, 2007. It is a small but a great place to purchase Afro-Caribbean/Latin music, to the extent that many of these musicians would seek out records there for their collections. In particular they come to talk to the manager of the store.

Opened in 1957 and still owned by music fan Jesse Moskowitz, the newer version of Record Mart is just 75 feet away from the old location and now stocked additionally with hardware in respect to today's marketplace. I was concerned that there might not be any music and although there may be less vinyl, there is still plenty of music-somehow tucked in that small space. Moskowitz is quoted as often saying, "we have three people shopping;the store is full". Cramped, indeed.

Despite our intention to get to CitiField asap, Maria gave me the okay for some spontaneous shopping. As I did years ago I scribbled some names on the back of a piece of scrap paper and asked a clerk for help. I mentioned that I enjoyed the listed artists but was instead seeking something not by them, but new recordings that shared roots with these players. The clerk directed me to a busy man who was flipping through and filing discs in rapid fashion. He popped his glasses up, looked over my list, listened to my request and walked over to two areas (everything is nearby) and in 30 seconds came back with three discs. He said these are all good. It occurred to me that many years ago I had a similar request- the music given to me then are still favorites: Grupo Folklorico Y Experimental Nuevayorquino,-Concepts in Unity and perhaps my first Manny Oquendo and Conjunto Libre record. This was the same person who helped me then- Who is this guy?!

I have since found that this man is Harry Sepulveda (see the http://www.nytimes.com/1998/11/30/arts/one-man-university-latin-music-record-salesman-wins-following-for-his-knowledge.html, (Peter Watrous).

Sepulveda! I've read his liner notes - his name is always connected to New York music, Latin Beat Magazine . Sepulveda was born in Puerto Rico and moved to Brooklyn in 1959. His initial interest was in rhythm and blues records but the music at home was the music of Puerto Rico and Cuba. For this, no better place to be in America than New York. Sepulveda would spend much time at concerts, meeting musicians, documenting and listening, building his record collection and soon becoming the manager of Record Mart.

He has become a resident expert and historian for musicians, audiophiles, record labels preserving and promoting the traditions of the past to the present . Sepulveda continues to expand his knowledge and apparently is still willing to help out someone who hands him a meager list..



I handed Harry this list; Jimmy Bosch, Machito, Manny Oquendo and Libre Orchestra, Eddie Palmieri, Chocolate Armenteros. He handed me these: No to Equivoques...as Frankie Morales, Jose Alberto-El Canario, Luis Gonzalez-Tributo aun Gigante. The records are excellent!

No Room For Sarcasm

We stayed in a new hotel (World Center Hotel) that is built directly next to the site of ground zero, where the twin towers used to be. On the eve of Memorial Day the significance is felt and one realizes there is absolutely no room for cute jokes or anything belittling what was lost here ten years ago.

At first the thought of sleeping here is eerie,creepy-but we are reminded that New York is full of life, activity, and of course, resilience. Construction is almost non-stop. Except for Sundays- everyday it begins at 6am and continues until midnight. The need to complete the 9/11 Memorial by the 10th anniversary this year creates a spectacle for us of many simultaneous projects; building and digging with giant drill attachments, explosions to excavate holes, pools of mysterious green liquid, cranes lifting concrete and glass- it's fascinating at the least. At its most inconvenient, I get an early morning wake up everyday-but the rest of the family has no problem sleeping through the noise. Each morning Dexter and Oliver really enjoy rolling out of bed and watching.

The first explosion was startling but as Dexter learned from the signals (first horn- preparing to blast, second horn-ready to blast, third- all clear) made the second explosion a good viewing. The area is first covered with 10-15 giant mats- each the size of a base of a house to muffle the noise, dust and debris. The fountains seem to be complete with ongoing work on 3 surrounding buildings and a transportation hub that is Architecture Digest material.

Across the street there is a mural dedicated to the firemen that sacrificed their lives (hundreds among the 2800 plus people that died here) . Tourists visit, observe and some take photos- posing awkwardly smiling or attempting to find an appropriate emotion . Passing by daily it never was too crowded and people were respectful and quiet. A guy on the street told me that he had a DVD of all the pictures , probably for sale- no thank you.

On our central park day- Tuesday, my delivery of sarcastic thoughts arrived when we came upon Strawberry Fields. On a quiet day or on some of the paths that are not well traveled tranquility might be found. However what we saw was a robotic procession of people sitting lotus style on the Strawberry Field emblem waving the peace sign. For these faux Lennons and faux peacenik posers, I wondered if there could also be faux Mark David Chapmans. If I didn't have a personal thing about puking, I really would have liked to. I can be pretty unfair when I want to be.

Anyway I look forward to the progression of the construction and hope it will be ready. I didn't mind the early wake up either; with a cup of coffee and a blanket I could always take in the inspiration.