In Memoriam

       Life is short. Life is long. Life is precious. Souls who we miss, lost to this world earlier this year. I would be neglectful not to remind Dexter and Oliver about them.

       Josie, our friend Tina's Aunt (Auntie Jo), lived 3 years past what the doctors said she would after her fall down the stairs in her apartment.  For a time in a coma-state, then awakened with last rites she was given the choice to go quickly or to battle with uncertainty and pain the only guarantees.  For Josie, she was not ready to go and this kind smiling woman was able to draw from the depths of strength  and will always inside her.  She lived much longer than anyone expected.  Days before she died, she had gone walked Walgreens on Chestnut Street to purchase some gifts for her beloved grandchildren.

        Connected to feeding tubes and with an at home care nurse, Josie lived as she had; receiving guests, getting outside.  She could not speak for some time but slowly began to, although her voice was not the smooth contessa di grazia we had known, Josie chose her words carefully and slowly.  Josie had the brightness of old and her beaming smile and spirit still inspire.  In the last year she chose to remove the tubes and to eat some foods, to try to savor the experience of taste and texture when she could.  Finally Josie had reached the point of being ready, having accomplished much, providing her family time for proper closure, to give love, to defy the doctors.  She let go of her time on this earth having proven her determination.

      Milt Mares. The NEGOT8TR, well, that's what his clunky license plate read anyway. He was our childhood neighbor, an attorney with the license plate that we translated as "negro theater" and were afraid that he was a closet racist.  Milt certainly was an instigator and a protector of his home (heaven forbid if someone walked their dog leaving a mess on his lawn and not cleaning it), and as an extension of his home, his neighborhood.  Letters to the city, to the local newspapers, a gadly, a pain in the ass, a Republican that I didn't mind so much.

     The story as related here before is that when he moved into the neighborhood (the Avenues, Richmond Dist.) we had been used to using his stairs as the ideal stair baseball field but our new neighbor took an immediate dislike to us. The first encounter did not go well and my recollection is my friend John D. calling out Milt with "old man", "shut up" and later, "Rookie".  Rookie stuck (wonder why the other terms did not) and this became not only our long term reference but an affectionate one as well.  Not only did we continue as visitors, he often played our street games with us, and his I can take it and I can dish it out sense of humor fit our brand completely.  He became our friend. Even after moving away, I looked forward to when I could visit with Milt and Soni with the boys over the holidays and enjoyed the occasions when we shared breakfast and lunches.  Milt also was occupied skunk, raccoon, release projects into Lincoln Park from his back yard. Obsessed might be the more appropriate term.

     With the wonderful Soni at his side, I always expected the Mares to be at 30th, and now it seems so quiet without him.  We didn't know he was sick with cancer but these terrible back surgeries we believed he had experienced, had left him visibly weaker.  I especially enjoyed when the Mares visited cafes I worked and they seemed happy to sit and receive the VIP service I was delighted to provide.  You can choose to build bridges in life and the bridge built with Milt to friendship is one that will be remembered fondly.

     Kay Halla,  the beloved wife of my friend Matthew from Hotel and Restaurant, who provided Matt with kindness and love when he needed it and their wonderful children (and their families), Crystal, Melissa and MJ.  We didn't see them much but kept in contact and had a blast visiting them in Virginia awhile ago.  After battling several health scares in recent years, (Olivia) Kay died quietly in her sleep, not expected but yet peacefully.

     Barbara Amberg is always in our minds and hearts, remembered as a good, kind soul.  Our friend Barbara left us too soon as she battled cancer for several years until she no longer could.  The last few years had been up and down, with chemo treatments bringing some hope, and privately for B, much pain. However Barbara was always happy to see us, taking great joy in the company of the boys.  As a former librarian her affection for children was always present, as her love for the cats that Barbara and Michael took in.

     We knew Barbara as Michael's companion and if there are two people who contrasted and balanced each other out, these two might be exhibit A as the pillars of such a balance.  Barbara's outgoing nature and big laugh were always easy to be around, and we regret not being around her more than we had.  She had many interests, curious in the ways of people. devoted to her family, faith, and friends. Her commitment to community extended to her library and the community of her Church, and the good folks that went to both places. That is a lot of people!

     We miss her presence in our lives, and knowing if we need warmth and love (just like a part of the fabric of her ongoing knitting projects) we didn't have to go far to find it.  In fact, we always felt Barbara's love.

      We miss these  individuals.  They always are a reminder that life is an opportunity, and the living happens each day.