Vanity, Behind Me

Dexter is about to hit the acne filled, angst full teenage years. I'd like to wish him the best of luck in slogging through these muddy waters. I hope that he trusts himself and his parents to get through. Part of the difficulty is not only the changes the body undergoes but it is the first time that one battles the ID and ego. It's a type of self awareness on-the-job training before we learn to harness it and find balance and peace.

I was self conscious with every manner- at times could not speak, or walk down the street. Was I taking little steps, awkward steps, feet and knees in or out, equal strides, lifting my legs, sliding? And what to do with my hands and arms- clenched, loose, stiff, swinging? Too much thinking. Better to study the great walks of Denzel and Clint now, then spin off your own distinction.

In time- and let's remember we're looking back at nearly 30 years ago, my acne and thoughts cleared. I no longer considered, nor wanted a different nose. Mine was my own. Mean kids could laugh at it and it wouldn't bother me any longer.

Boys, you get through this. You should get through it. Sometimes there are still moments that draw people back to these self centered concerns; perhaps hearing their voice. Here's the thing: folks really are not looking at you that much and the only ones that are, love you for your tweaks; individual qualities. Today I'm really completely at peace with my exposed forehead, slightly bulging tummy ("muscle"), mumbles, fear of acting like a fool (I may act as a goofball but have no fear of being perceived as one). You grow up- you get over pointless vain concerns.

Now having said this, I recently took some photos in the work photo booth (soon to run out of paper- no one knows this- with no back up supply available for the paper is only from a factory in Japan, destroyed in the Tsunami) with Cailin and Allison. The last capture I thought I would turn my back to the camera. WTF?!! Maria occasionally has said that I'm thinning a bit on the back of my head "heh heh". But WTF is this?!! The lunar landing on my head? A hairy man's buttocks on my head? Grand slam breakfast on my head?? Who just said, "Cantelope Head?" Not funny. Excuse me if I make serious eye contact until backing away three blocks and wear baseball caps to weddings. And Maria, what's with the casualness? Why haven't you rushed to me with hair spray paint? Where's the hair plug flyers? The past is all behind me- yeah, well not if I can see it!


notes: *impressed that I use the popular "WTF" *after choosing the medium sized image, I downgraded to small size. *Meghan, my earlier entry that seemingly was giving you props for your hard work in establishing Lotus Salon was apparently a subconscious cry for help; get that wig work going-quick!