You Don't Have To Go Far

 

What is a composition of any good day around these parts?  A little sunshine doesn't hurt certainly. And with the sun, a visit to the wide open with blue and water, and earth.  Visiting with good friends Miles (five months older than Dexter) and Wade, my sturdiest of fans. Their parents, Robert  (my roommate of 28 years ago!) and Lisa.

 
Baseball in Redwood City with Jeremiah.  Buried in the sand of Aquatic Park or strolling on a beach in                                                                      Pacifica.

                                                      Good days are before us.

I Remember When

    First, I've been lazy about doing a good job proof reading- give me a D grade for this. One of the lines of the last entry should have been that my sister did NOT want a gloomy ceremony for Dad but during one of my edits I must have edited out the "not".  Sheesh, what a bum.

   When the world gets crazy I use baseball as my comfort zone.  It's always been my go to blanket. Stats, stories, and memories.

 I remember the 1962 Giants losing in 7 games to the Yankees on a series ending scorcher of a line drive hit by Willie McCovey with the tying and winning runs in scoring position.  Actually I don't remember this at all but just the years of endless recollections and stories of a great World Series. I was 1. Is this as good as it will ever get?

  I do remember the next time the Giants would get into the playoffs (back then only 4 teams would qualify expanded from '62 when the two pennant winners would play the World Series). Now the playoffs have been expanded to 10 teams.  In 1971, I listened to the Giants losing to the Pirates at school with a transistor radio- I seem to recall the teachers cutting us 10 year olds some slack to do so.  Disappointing and the last gallant postseason for Willie Mays as a San Francisco Giant.

                                  The Great Roberto Clemente (who died shortly after his 3,000 hit when hi plane crashed on                                a  humanitarian relief mission bringing assistance to Nicaragua which had suffered from an earthquake)

I remember 1978 when skipper Joe Altobelli (later he would win a Worls Series-1982? with Baltimore) led the team to a resurgence until they tired in late August.  Still, one of the most exciting games I can remember being in attendence was when Mike Ivie hit a pinch hit grand slam against the Dodgers 5/28/78 at Candlestick Park. This may have been the largest crowd ever to see a SF Giants home game to this day.  The silence of the crowd as the flight of the ball soaring in the sky erupted into a roar of 58,000 people is a moment I will never forget.  Did I cut school that day?

                                                        Willie Mac and Jack the Ripper
In 1982, another near pennant but a year salvaged by Joe Morgan's 3 run home run knocking out the Dodgers from the playoffs on the last day of the regular season.

 Then the absolute futility of the mid-80's Giants (the A's clearly a better organization winning 3 straight World Series in the 70's with a very personable, fun bunch of guys and always being in the playoff mix) but in 1986, a Humm Baby Giants attitude took hold with Manager Roger Craig who would stare down the other teams even when saying hello.  Will the Thrill, Hac Man, Chilli Davis (now the A's hitting coach)  Dave Dravecky, Kevin Mitchell losing to the Cardinals in 7 games, after being up 3 games to 2. Mike Krukow pitched the game of his career to win game four.  Arrrrgh! Despite the end result, this team brought me back into baseball. I was 26. When Dan Gladden hit a home run (for Minnesota) against the Cardinals, he ran around the bases with one flap down in honor of his old team - the Giants.

                                                   Hac Man, he of the dour stare and One Flap Down

Got pulverized! by the A's in the 1989 World Series but the larger story of course was the Loma Prieta earthquake. I was at work at Double Rainbow on Polk Street when all our loyal customers went bug eyed, a sound like a big car crash, the customers immediately running outside, the lights all popping off- pop!pop!pop!, cups swiveling and glass mirrors wobbling, "that's odd" I thought.  Only one customer had not left the store; Stella from NY was screaming and crawling across the back platform.  My co-worker Gigi and I pulled Stella to safety underneath a table. Funny thing is, that other than around earthquakes Stella wold turn out to be one of the soundest calmest people I'd ever meet.  Meanwhile Maria was up three blocks at our apartment hiding under a table with two friends.  They didn't realize the table they were under had opened up so if anything had fallen on them, it would have fallen on them.  Hey, Giants-A's 2013!

When the Giants won 103 games in 1993 and didn't make the playoffs! The Rockies played the Braves 12? 14? times that season and lost every game.  The Padres wanted to dump salaries and gave the Braves clutch Fred McGriff midseason.  The next year baseball added 2 more playoff teams to ensure teams having that teams achieving much success would get into the playoffs.  I was 32, and pissed off.

So many close calls in 1997, 2000, 2001.  2002 (sigh. I was 41).  So close. Finally beating the Braves with Rob Nenn  getting Gary Sheffield and Chipper Jones for the final outs of the series The following week up in the mountains fighting a radio signal fading in and out with no lights inside our car parked deep in the woods. We heard Kenny Lofton driving in David Bell to win the game vs. the Cardinals bringing the Giants back to the World Series. Against the Angels, the Giants were a good pitch short and could not close the deal.  It always seemed to be one unfortunate pitch that we could not get pass the other team.

2003, leading from Day One into the Playoffs and losing to the Marlins again (1997,2003). The Marlins would go on to win their second World Series, although their ownership seemed to do whatever they could not to win. Here, the Giants in San Francisco since 1958 trying to do everything they could to win coming short again....

2010 and 2012 when the team was able to find pitchers healthy enough (in 2002 Rob Nenn had blown out his arm and sacrificed his career for the team), with grit and wisdom to get the task done.  The 2010 and 2012 teams were composed of individuals that seemed very comfortable with each other and embracing the city they represent (unlike the current 49'ers who seem to be strangers to SF).

And I'll always remember how baseball  in it's gentle ritualistic way can distract and redirect pain and worry into something warm and comforting. Unifying all of us to some degree in ways other American sports can not.  This might be because of the nature of the game (takes it's time, allows the viewer to breathe- not all adrenaline) or the frequency of so many games and the length of a season..  In appreciation of baseball. Hey, don't forget the minor leagues!

Gather to Say Goodbye

  On March 10 we hosted family and friends at the house on 30th Avenue to have some type of ceremony and closure to the death of my father.  My sister did not want this to be a gloomy memorial so we referred the event as a celebration of his (and mom's ) life and it most certainly was. Dexter and Oliver jumped in and honored this set of grandparents as we knew they would.  Hingee and Mike were on board once their initial reservations were addressed- Mike helped get the house in fine shape for the day and Hingee broadened the invitations to relatives I may have neglected. 

  Maria and I promised that we would be the caretakers for the event and would be hosting the entire time if my brother and sister needed to step away.   We just asked if we could provide a very good meal in the most casual and warm setting.  We always got Dad walnut prawns from Ton Kiang on Geary Street and that is where we decided to get all the food from.  They always remembered my folks whenever they went there although in later years, they didn't go there as often. Mom had favorite places to go to but always liked finding new places.  We took Dad there not that long ago, and it's always a welcome stop after a long day at Hardly Strictly.   Dexter and I really enjoy the spicy string beans over crispy noodles and i can't get enough of their foil wrapped chicken.

  The only part of tradition that we  kept was in the preparation of  red envelopes to hand out to our guests as they departed. Inside each envelope was candy (Starburst) and a quarter.  The candy is to provide sweetness after the sour and the quarter to encourage purchasing more sweet.  However the day that was, Sunday from 12-3pm  (but really 5) was a sweet one.  We didn't want a schedule, just a period of time that people could come over, stay as long as they wanted in that time, or just make an appearance.  With plenty of pictures, an ongoing slide show Maria put together, letters and a sense of their history (plus good food, lots of it!) we felt that we had the celebration covered. 

   I expected about 30 people, and thought that they might visit throughout the 3 hours, with lulls and some quiet times.  I hoped that my Dad's very good friend from the army -some of Uncle Johnny's family might appear, although we hadn't seen them for 10 plus years, since Uncle Johnny died.  I didn't mention this to my siblings but I was hopeful.

   We may have had 50 or more in attendance and most all stayed, visiting at the same time. Incredibly overwhelmed would describe me from 1:30-3:30.   My Mom's good friends- Bessie, Blossom, Helen, May Fong, so diligent in how they looked after my Dad, families of Cousin Pat and Connie, neighbors the Grants and the Mares, Niece and Nephew Traci and Kevin, Allison and David, Aunt Janey and Judy, Doreen and family, Cousins Larry, Greg and Harry and Linda Chuck, friend Larry and Henri, and a bunch of other dear visitors.

  Half way through, we answered the door and welcomed Uncle Johnny's oldest son named after my father.  George his wife Deanna and their mom, Aunty Rose.  Aunty Rose always still has her big beaming smile even as time has shrunk her.  As a child I remember hot summer days in Sacramento at their home and visits at their restaurant in Vallejo.  There, anything I wanted could be mine as they treated me as someone who was the child of a very beloved friend.  I hear their voices, so distinctive cradling my name and alternatively calling out in more assertive tones to their seven children.  At the house at 30th AV, I hear the sound of their big car pulling up and the voices of six to seven children rolling up the stairs.  As Jimmy was to Johnny and Rose, I too was the youngest to George and May.  All distinctive individuals.

   A few years ago we uncovered-thanks to Uncle Johnny some letters that my Dad wrote to him, after the war in 1948.  That my father would write something longer than two sentences (two pages!) was astounding and not unlike finding a mammoth fossil in the backyard.

   Hey, we did it Mom and Dad.  We were able to set up a day where old friends and family, and others that didn't circulate in this circle could, breathe and share together, in your house, within your loving arms.  We'll miss you forever but mostly just thankful to have you known you and to have been cared for by you. And if there are difficult days when the loss and missing seems to overcome, I know that the memories, joys and life's lessons you brought to us will guide me back to the warmth of the sun, and the warmth of the love you tried so hard to provide.

  

Be The Best Thetan You Can Be

NPR , Going Clear

My, time passes fast when you're kissing ass.  No, not me but that phrase just came in my head, didn't know where to put it so oddly it lands here.  Feel free to use it.  Boys I do not recommend referencing it in any work or living environment.

So let's get back to life.  We're all balancing out this loss of one key player in our lives and finding the right time for each of us to express it.  Dexter's time came later than the rest of us and it is a day to day personal tumble  but in the grand scheme of things, it's part of the grand scheme of all things.  Got it.  Tears, then steps.

Why am I so fascinated with Scientology?  I'll inform.  Back in the day- 17 years of old working in my first real job (Sylvia's Continental Restaurant - fine dining and pizza- go figure!), not including years of newspaper tossing.  Chris Kelly, who mostly ran a construction business  but also had a fairly successful pizza operation called Red Boy Pizza.  He found that it may have been easier to get girlfriends with a restaurant or two- Sylvia! and when he wasn't willing/able to pay his construction workers- to have them speak to the 17 year old making pizzas, while he was "I don't know where he is".

Scientology.  In the kitchen was the first person I ever met from Wisconsin (and yes for a time I had some odd thoughts about the good peeps from Madison)- probably the nicest guy I've ever known and the only person I've ever successfully Heimliched (that is not a german term for getting personal but I popped a chicken bone or mushroom outta his throat when he was choking).  Ron was 100% devoted to Scientology when not working, and only 85% when he was working.  He had his e-meters with him to perform audits; these simple machines "read" your energy and analyze the truth to your answers, and usually end up letting you know how screwed up you are.  I always declined getting audited (probably thanks to Ron here, I learned to say "no") but enjoyed our conversations about many things but was most fascinated with his interests in Scientology and previously the Moonies.

He no longer had time for the Moonies as much of the commitment was at a faraway commune but I recall Ron describing a "fun" game of  Dodgeball where participants would yell "kill, kill" and Ron's eyes popping out of his eyeglasses as he described the merriment.  Ron was gentle, enthusiastic but also 6'+ and 250# so I always allowed room for him to possibly morph Hulk-like and smash, or at least yell "kill, kill" while playing dodge ball.  How could you stop having time for fun like that?  Although Ron described this as getting too wild sometimes, with a noticeable longing for the good old days.

How does a smart guy such as Ron get into Scientology? Self improvement? Even charmers as John Travolta.Will Smith and Tom Cruise? Why did in my 20's was i sometimes approached by young women who invited me to friendly dinners with other nice young folks?  Certainly  my sex appeal was a large factor in these invitations but i quickly realized that this had a recruitment feel to the invites.

A Pulitzer Prize winning author, Lawrence Wright wrote a book, Going Clear about Scientology and my hopes were that this would be a well researched work.  It's a good read.  While it may not win another Pulitzer it brought to me some clarity about the organization and its participants. 

Thetan refers to sort of your eternal Scientology soul.  Those that join Sea Org, the main internal committed group dedicated to the goals of Scientology sign a billion year contract- man, that's a lot of toilet paper in a billion years!  After your life ends, your thetan self joins another body, sometimes waiting around for a baby to become your new host.  As far as I can tell, the baby has no say in this so future parents if your kids act funny sometimes, it may not be your kids but just the Thetan soul of he we once knew as mr. tom cruise 350 years ago.  Humans are referred to as "meat bodies".  Scientology terminology is great stuff!

Scientology has a great foundation for seeking out those they see as the enemy to make life miserable for any individual or groups they perceive as spreading evil against them.  Scientology was able to leverage the IRS (countless lawsuits, borderline legal harassment of individuals) to allow Scientology tax-free status as a religion. How they were able to take down a powerful institution as the IRS is very impressive.

I think I haven't written anything in awhile is part laziness but knowing that Going Clear would be my next entry also concerned that some idiot will stumble upon this page and leave something cryptic and threatening.  But if so, please read the first line and go fyourself and your stinky organization.

Many of the principles of Scientology are borne from founder L.Ron Hubbard who while seeing this as a great opportunity to smooze with Hollywood types and make a lot of money, seriously believed he was on to something magical- that is when he wasn't beating his wives or berating the people around him.  He is seen in Scientolgy as a prophet  and a great war hero.  Some of the most amusing parts of the book is when Wright takes apart every heroic claim by Hubbard of his war efforts to show the coward behind the curtain; the ego maniac who found every opportunity to duck any real opportunity to be in harm's way while claiming otherwise.

Hubbard was a best selling sci fi writer (supposedly Mitt Romney's favorite book is one that Hubbard wrote) as well as the best selling writer of Dianetics, which to some disturbance my Mom had around the house for years although never got around to reading.  There is some merit in my mind to some of their principles- one of which is that Scientology is not promising some impending apocalypse in our future. More practically is their principle that by constantly examining what gives us pain, that we can face it and get beyond it. Hey, I can get behind that one.  This is part of the auditing process. 

As for the celebrities and Scientology's Hollywood base, perhaps because he is so busy, Tom Cruise's wives and girlfriends are often vetted for him before they even realize it, and most move in with him within 30 days of meeting the man.  Scientology is led by David Miscavige now (Tom Cruise's best man at his last wedding) and as Hollywood is a great center for the organization, it stands to reason that if you are trying to get your career in show biz going in LA, this is a great place to get powerful support.  Of note is Steven Spielberg for although having an excellent work relation with Cruise has avoided coming on board the Scientology train.  Spielberg would be a huge recruit for the organziation-one can only imagine.
 

Gong Clear refers to the goal of being freed from your Engrams, the negative part of your subconscious memories- ready to embrace your $45 dollars a week from the group (of course Scientologists will point out that you will be paid the $45 even during the process of  reaching Clear state).  However if you try to skip out of your billion year commitment you will get a for services rendered of possibly hundreds of thousand$, and risk the disconnect from friends and family within the organization , let alone dealing with all the people you pissed off outside the organization the years you were in it.   Anyone who brings anything negative to the discussion about Scientology is labeled a "suppressive".Ah, the pain. The engrams!  How I wish life was simpler with a good violent game of Dodgeball.

The Most Expensive Dinner That Almost Killed Me

   Rarely in recent years have Maria and I gone out for Valentine's dinner.  Certainly we have had special meals at home- usually a family Valentine's celebration with a hearty ice cream dessert.  This year by way of a cancelled reservation we inherited an evening out.  Why not? Our dinner would be at a cozy restaurant where a friend works, who would also serve as our host.

     At night's end we were fulfilled with a lovely meal, our appetites satisfied and having been treated with absolute attentive care.  The presentation of the meal was elegant and sensory delights plentiful..When you go into a place and the thought crosses the mind of  "I don't see any prices" and you proceed without pursuing, you smile when the check arrives.  Of course deep down I didn't think we would get such a large bill but I am someone who remembers buying new record albums for five dollars and a box seat for a Giants game for ten.  It would it be tacky to list how much we spent but if I symbolically used fingers as a measurement, let's say 2.5 fingers.  Most importantly our experience was 4 stars and built into the price was the lack of a table turnover; that is, customers were encouraged to stay for hours, and we did.  This was likely the longest we've sat at a table together in decades!  An opportunity to be with Maria where she is the focus always has its rewards.

    The part that kills me and almost really killed me was of one of the many appetizers that arrived our way. There were more food items and beverages that landed at our table than pitchers for the Texas Rangers (baseball references- spring training begins!).  I know I should stick to my rule of not eating food that I don't know what it is but how harmless could a cream puff be?   I associate a cream puff with whipped cream (early dessert).  It was a cheese. A fancy funky cheese. I am allergic to moldy cheeses. Tasted good, this cheese. Started to sting, and not message in a bottle Sting but sting as a sting ray stung.  Tongue and the inside of my mouth began to react. Swell.  Concern.

     A good sign was that my throat was not swelling and I proceeded with many glasses of water. As they paced us casually to allow time to fully enjoy each others' company, I was able to regroup without any noticeable discomfort (Maria noticed of course, "can I finish that?").  After about 30 minutes I jumped back to a delicious dinner. Of course when the check came, that was another moment of funky cheese for both of us!
  
    
      

       .

Uncle Pappy Sideshow

    Bad jokes. Good jokes. Endless jokes. The chortle. The chuckle. The kindness. The great big brother. Friend.  Crazy adventures.  VW Bugs and wagons.  Living in his trailer on pristine acreage in Oregon. Just living. The joy of the gig.   Creating an identity and a life. Visited the other side but didn't like it, and came back to us.  30 days in a coma and wakes up to see his oldest son in a devil's suit on Halloween- while other patients yell, "Diablo!"   Big puppets on sticks.  Giant puppets during political rallies.  Friends with Big Bones.  Hanging with harmonica greats. It's the blues, man.  The sad blues and the happy blues.  Niles and Chaplin.  Civil wars and vinyl records.

 
   Two great nicknames, three excellent children. All five full of spirit and personality.  What are you talking about? is worth talking about.  No Bush league this one.  Tinkerer and been tinkered with.  Wonder and fascination of things. Cailin is his best audience. Unique stories never surprise (although sometimes makes you look around to see who is listening)   Beard before Wilson.  Enjoys a good couch.  The beat goes on, thankfully.  Keep on keeping on, Chris!

We Go On

   Without death, there is no life.  I imagine some Zen Buddhists would tell me so.  However I prefer today to filter it through Robert Plant's voice. The living was really sweet three weeks ago in Santa Cruz. I am surprised the pessimist in me didn't make an appearance (the flip side is that I'm really good during disasters). And so in tribute to appreciating the good life, here goes.

      In Santa Cruz for Josh and Jackie's wedding, we also spent three nights at the Beach Street Inn. We upgraded for a bigger room in case we could offer it to Ann and John, if they were to stay overnight.  The rooms are all built up from the street, elevated about 100 stairs or a steep driveway.  Outside our room was a large pool and  around us, apparently the Santa Cruz Warriors basketball team.  From our doorway you could see the ocean across the street.  The boardwalk was only a block away whether that meant the beach (Maria), rides (me), or an arcade (Dext/Oliver).  These rooms were all redone since 2010 and they did a nice job.

     Santa Cruz, when it's sunny and not crowded is a lovely place.  When you have a room you feel complete comfort in, with much space, a stove and refrigerator (and coffee machine, of course!), it makes the days relaxing.  Without prodding, i even went barefoot on the beach.  It just felt right.

      Bobby and Meredyth came over on Sunday to watch the Niners comeback win over Atlanta in the NFC Championship game.  It was fun spending time with them.  Today weeks later its still sinking in that the Niners would win the Super Bowl on a last hand-off from Alex Smith to Frank Gore crushing over a sluggish Ray Lewis.  An early game time start  left plenty of time for us to wander over to the boardwalk.  The boys were into winning tickets from the arcade games.  We got into it too.
 

he's getting taller!

8 million arcade tickets gets you 2 cute stuffed animals. we all won some glasses too (dime toss)

     
    Days may darken but we continue on.  Hopeful for joyful experiences and the warmth of the sun.