I Digress #28

Sarah recently wrote that she "and mosquitoes are not friends" Let me address

Postscript: 7/16. A recent scientific study has found that the smell of smelly socks is more appealing to mosquitos than human skin. Note to sleeping family members: those socks are there for a purpose.

My War On Mosquitoes

I understand that all life is sacred. Should be respected. Preserved. Revered.
However people forget that Ghandi/Thoreau/Plato lived this credo prior to 1961 before the great annoying mosquito coalition (GAMC) came to being. It's no new line of thought that the absence of these parasites might not be a bad thing. Yes, sort of a sun chips level on the food chain and while mosquitoes also consume algae- surely substitutes can be found for a creature that infects 700 million people a year with disease.

I, too have no patience or tolerance for them. If during sleep, Ii hear one mosquito buzz by me I will not rest or sleep until it is destroyed. Maria is often annoyed by my attempts to save our family from these bloodsuckers. She should not be angry that I use her as bait while I wait, completely immersed in the bedsheets (so as not to confuse the mosquito) as it locks in on her. And if a well placed newspaper is not appreciated (why does she get so angry?) , let all know that I have on occasion offered myself as a lure, lights on and waiting, waiting, waiting. An attack by culcidae on my children warrants retribution ten times. Retribution leading to a bloodbath is never a pretty picture; especially when it's my blood.

Why can't I accept mosquitoes as just insects doing what they do? Why can't I ignore them and sleep like everyone else seems to be able to do? Can I sleep while a man outside has no bed, no home? Well, apparently I can. So why can't I, as Maria frequently implores me to do, just turn out the light, forget about the bug, and just go to sleep? Or go to f*****sleep as she sometimes refers to the situation as. And no, I have never hidden beside Maria hoping the mosquito will bite her instead. This goes back to childhood, listening to a buzzing noise in a room shared with my brother when the mosquito flew into my mouth.
Flew into my mouth. GAMC, a blatant violation of all human-bug protocols. GAMC, the beginning of my war on mosquitoes. "From Hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!"*

Yes, my brother still obsesses when we stand by the open front door at my parent's house, and this behavior is kind of freaky to continually experience. Also that Mike lumps mosquito eaters with mosquitoes continues to cause confusion to this day. I think of mosquitoes as being the tiny insect but eye mosquito eaters with distrust and caution.
Lastly, I act in the preservation of my family.
A man has to have ethics. It is one of my beliefs and organizing principles. I will let other people call me a hero. Maria?


*Shakespeare/Melville/Khan